Remember the clueless man that had to go through the experience of hearing women thoughts 24/4? Just so he can get a clue of what they really wanted. Yes, the 2000 film What Women Wants. This blog is basically a free pass for the heterosexual male who feel or have felt clueless at some point of a relationship with women. And even for those who can swear they now their lady but would like to add more knowledge in their experience.
Communication is key, it’s not always about what we reflect, or our corporal language. In my case, my boyfriend always reminds me that I wear my feeling on my sleeve what makes it a little easier for me to communicate what I want without actually saying it. But that is just an exception a really rare one.
Dominate The Moment: We all like that, Most of the Time.
Guys if your lady is not being very clear with what she want’s make sure to ask it’s always nice to ask instead of assuming. You know what they say about assuming (never ass-u-me it makes an ASS of U and ME)
If by any chance a lady out there is reading this please please please, never be afraid to ask exactly what you want. You’ll be surprised how much convenient it is. Going back to those gentlemen out there, Take control f you are the one requesting sexy time!
1. Eye Contact
First comes first you need to want this if you do, prove it’s that easy. Make sure to make eye contact when you are either telling her what you want or showing her. It’s about reflecting that urge and desire so you can transmit the right intention as soon as possible. The turn-on point happens fast, therefore, you must act fast.
Make your second move quick, Foreplay.
2. Our President Was Somewhat Right (Wrong Women Thought!)
Remember that inspiring quote from our lovely president, Trump: “Grab them by the pussy”. Well, coming out of that awful situation sounds horrible I know. But every woman likes to be surprised by THERE MAN hands in their cherry, it’s one of my favorite ways to get turn on in a second. Please evaluate the moment before jumping to the conclusion that it’s perfectly fine to do it. Don’t be like Trump, please!
3. Tell Her What You Want
Here, there, do this, slow, fast, hard, or soft demand it!! Talk about a perfect trade if you say what you want only then you can guarantee that she will tell you exactly what she wants. Communication is key for a consensually pleasured moment.
4. Be Expressive
Based on an honest and proper feedback you can continue receiving pleasure like you always dreamed of. Women are blessed in many ways but we cannot read minds, YET. If you like her hard work tell her, communicating how thing makes you feel opens a door of trust and comfortable sexy time. We like to know that we are doing a great job and not feel self conscience about telling our man how we like it too.
5. Be spontaneous
As adults sometimes life makes it hard to incorporate sexy time in your daily routine and that is totally normal. For some couple, it’s perfectly fine to schedule it and for some, it’s just a little too hard to assume sex in a routine. But when time limits your creativity go creative with how or what you introduce in the moment.
Sex toys are a reliable source when it comes to making sex more fun and pleasant. Make sure you both are comfortable and go for it Usually Cock rings, male masturbators and bullets are more convenient for couples.
Role play and Sex Positions
If role play is your thing go for it, plan it and if you’re feeling it you can dress up to make more real and fun the moment. It’s a perfect moment to be whatever you want. It’s important that you both feel comfortable and agree to certain rules incorporated.
Trying new sex positions or changing them every time you have sex is essential to fight with that routine feeling if that’s the case. If you are feeling adventurous there is no need to have sex in the same position over and over again. Spice it up plus only this way you can play smoothly with who wants to be in control.
Lubricants, Candle, and Enhancers
You would be surprised how may things are out there to help you make sex more fun. Edible massage candles are perfect for romantic nights. this is one of my favorites I mean who hates to get a massage right before sex?
There’s a big variety of lubes and enhancers to choose from since not everyone is into the same things. It’s like shopping for candy literally!! You can choose flavors and based (I always recommend water based). You can also look for different type of performance, oral sex, intercourse and anal. Enhancers are always a plus for both women and men.
A Neutral Vaginal PH
A neutral vaginal PH balance is very important in every ladies life. It plays an important role in a women’s confidence. Also is very necessary for a perfect healthy oral sex and any sexual experience even your solo ones.
How much do you really know your vagina? I’m pretty sure you might think you know it all or nothing at all. I’m sure you would want to know how much. Despite your confidence is very important to search for new information. There are a lot of misconceptions about what you should do to maintain a healthy vagina.
Allow us to introduce you to some important things that your vagina wants to tell you:
After all, we are what we eat and so is our vagina. It’s not about limiting what you eat or going on a diet. Just make sure you include a list of beneficial food like:
It contains lactobacillus (a good bacteria) It helps your vagina stay in the optimal PH range fighting bad bacterias. You can buy the same probiotic in the yogurt in pill format ( probiotic feminine supplement)
Green Tea or Cranberry Juice
Cranberry Juice helps fight urinary tract infections. Cranberries contain compounds that stop the infection from sticking to your bladder. It is best to consume some homemade with no too much sugar and sugar is a hazard for yeast infection. Green tea with its potent antimicrobial effect could help fight UTI’s without putting in risk your vaginal PH balance.
Fish ( omega 3 )
Some nice fish in your diet or simply supplement pills. Omega 3 fatty acid it’s an anti-inflammatory that studies suggest may help with discomfort when presenting first symptoms of an unbalanced PH.
Minimally Processed Soy foods
like tofu, organic edamame, or tempeh. They are high in estrogen and also hydrophilic making them good for vaginal dryness due to low levels of estrogen so you would definitely want to put this on your list. A daily consumption of this products can help keep your tissues elastic and well lubricated by attracting more water to your tissues.
Apple Cider Vinegar
This is a strong natural antibiotic. This acid liquid it’s very helpful when you have a basic ph. It kills viruses and bacteria making good bacteria recolonize. There are many ways to include the apple cider vinegar in your diet, you can also apply directly to the vagina.
Take one spoon of apple cider vinegar and dilute in an 8oz cup of water and drink daily. You can also use this water-vinegar and apply or wipe vulva with it. Try to avoid a daily application due to the acid.
Also, try to avoid hormonal birth control this can affect your natural hormone balance affecting your vaginal flora.
Keep in mind all the food to include in your diet especially probiotic this will help to maintain a neutral PH balance fighting any possible yeast infection.
No soap! Seriously ladies you don’t need soap to clean your lady part. It is so perfect that it cleans itself. Some nice temperature water will do the job.
If you feel a little uncomfortable or you think your body smell is too strong for just water then try some simple mild soap. Avoid any crazy fragrance and avoid falling for the feminine wash. Remember that less is more, fewer ingredients the better the product.
And for the love of your chacha say no to douching!
There are actually some studies that have shown that using this type of products can put you at big risk of infections, STD’s, and pelvic inflammatory disease.
Go commando whenever you can so it can air out. The less humid the best for your PH balance.
Managing your period the correct way is crucial for a perfect vaginal PH balance. Ladies this is a once a month thing, 12 times a year sometimes more this is a part of us that we must master.
Is a must that you:
Keep it clean and fresh down there with only water or maybe some gentle soap and gentle wipes.
○Change tampons, pads or cup as often as possible avoid scented pads and tampons.
○Remember to be careful with pills
○Have safe sex if you do have sex when you have your period.
I Know for a fact that a visit to the Gynecologist can be very stressful, scary or tedious moment. This annual exam is very necessary and it’s not only about the pelvic exam. This is a good time to do an STD test, check out for general infections, talk about your birth control and any sexual or vaginal issues or concerns.
Tip: make a vaginal or sexual journal or notebook. Write down any situation, questions or concerns you have through the year. Trust me this will make your life easier that one day.
Ladies we all have’d that moment wen you’re in the mood but your vagina didn’t get the memo. No need to feel self-conscious, that is totally normal. Vaginal dryness can be caused by some medications, like antidepressants, hormonal birth control, and antibiotics. It can also crop up with menopause or after pregnancy. To avoid cuts or soreness that can lead to a yeast infection or any discomfort make sure to communicate with your partner so they won’t forge ahead without being lubricated.
Condoms are great protecting against Pregnancy and STD’s. Also, some studies have found that using a rubber when having sex can helps keep your vaginal PH level on point do good bacterias can survive in there. Especially if you are not in a monogamous relationship.
A very important note:
keep it separated, if you are using a condom for anal sex make sure to change it before going from anal to vaginal sex. If you go from back to front without cleaning properly this exposes your vagina to a host of bacteria risking a yeast infection.
I’m Hoping for a world with a better Vaginal PH balance!
Before The Quickie
It was one of those happy days where I can literally have sex all day long. It was the weekend of my birthday and I was so excited to be in a lovely city like Savannah, GA. The weather was perfect and the bed so comfortable. As you can guess me and my boyfriend had sex for breakfast. We had plans for the day so we started our adventure. All day long I had the idea that we would come back to the apartment and have some quick sex and then continue our journey. I had strong faith that it would happen so I put on my favorite dress with no panties on. You can imagine how sensitive and good I felt all day.
We did so many fun things during the day through bar hopping, monuments, and restaurants… but I couldn’t stop thinking about sex. Every look and touch I gave my boyfriend he knew for sure to interpret them as a sexual request. He just loves to tease me and he ignored me for most of the day with that evil smile. I only wanted a quickie I wasn’t asking for more!
Quickies Are What?
I used to think quickies were a morning thing. How naive right? The crazy idea started when I had some place to be. My boyfriend and I decided to have a short passionate version of love, “a quickie.” When we were done having sex I was already 40 minutes late. So I decided to permanently limit quickies for the mornings.
Having a quickie is a little unrealistic for me based on my experiences. I decided to give it a second chance by adjusting some things.
How Quick Is A Quickie Supposed To Be?
After that exhausting day of controlling my urges and walking around the city, I settled with a cup of coffee and a nice ass-grab. We got a cup of coffee at a nice quiet little café. That window corner where we sat had a nice view of the old city full of history. It was a very cozy atmosphere I remember the soothing background music some nice classical Jazz.
Everyone was very nice and kind but little do they know the fire burning in between my legs. I was still craving my man, especially at that time when I knew I was going to get some soon. It’s funny because at this point he doesn’t even supect that I’m craving him more and more. I felt very naughty as I tried to organize my thoughts with my body language. I kept on moving my left leg and smiling at him after every sip. He was either very oblivious or a total evil boyfriend making me beg with my eyes.
I had to take a tinkle so I made my way to the restroom. I rubbed my hand around his neck as I was walking away I finally got the responsive look I was aiming for. Honestly, I took my precious time, it was one of those cool hipster bathrooms with a chalkboard wall full of some deep thoughts. I decided to write down my blog address. To spread some love around is always my goal. I freshened up, fixed my hair and pulled my dress down. I had a plan …
I opened the restroom door to my surprise there was that sexy thing I wanted to do all day. As I walked out he walked in, there was that look again. I pushed the door to open as he smiled.
What do you want? He asked as he came closer and locked the door.
You know what I…. He interrupted me with a kiss. His hands went straight down my dress.
There was ecstasy all over the place. My hormones were uncontrollable. As he unbuckled his pants he asked me, Is this what you want? Before I could even respond with a f$%^ Yeah, he bent me in front of the sink mirror.
3 Minutes In Heaven
Next thing I knew I was having sex in a coffee shop restroom. I was enjoying his face as much as I was enjoying him inside of me. He had a face of pleasure combined with firm movements. It was honestly what I’ve been waiting for all day. He grabbed me by the hair as he was pounding fast inside of me. I limited myself to enjoy the moment and to not worry about what was going on outside. I’m pretty sure no one suspects anything, the bathrooms were far from the cashier and tables view.
I dripped a little on his shirt and pants as my legs were shaking. He gave my one last pound then kissed me on my forehead. My adrenaline was over. Everything happened so fast that all I did was smile as I pulled my dress down. He walked out first and the coast was clear.
And We’re Out
We walked as fast as we could out of that café without looking at anyone. Once we were out we looked at each other and laugh, I laugh so hard. Mixed feelings all over the place. I was satisfied, happy, and very emotional it was another type of love connection. Its probably the fact it was the first time we did something so crazy. Those three minutes of glory basically set the stage and paste for the rest of the weekend. And is definitely something that we remind each other all the time, maybe not to try it again but to remind us about how strong is our sexual connection. I learned that you can’t schedule a quickie. That’s the magic of sex, in general, the excitement begins when you stop worrying and enjoying the moment.
As we were walking away I grabbed his ass and promise to return the favor. I could hardly wait for our night section.
Did you like my story? Stick around and read more. You can Also send us your story, we are very excited to read.
An aphrodisiac is a food, drink, or drug that stimulates sexual desire. It turns you on, it gets your pants hot, it arouses you, it gets you extra extimulated or however you want to call it. After all, it boils down to hormones.
Experts say that they work in two ways those that stimulate sexual desires by affecting parts of the body and does that stimulates sexual desires by working on the mind.
For example, It can make our bodies produce chemicals associated with sexual desires. It can also increase blood flow to the sex organs that stimulates sexual feeling.
There are a lot of rumors about Caribbeans being very caliente due to the consumption them. After living in that sensual weather for years I am here to confirm any sexual stereotypes and talk a little about how exactly does it work. Maybe we can all be Caribbeans in a fantasy night. Better and more exciting sex, who doesn’t want that?
My grandmother used to say:
“You always have to keep men happy with food and sex”. I actually grew up thinking that this was such a sexist comment. Well maybe because I knew she did it all to satisfy my grandpa and not herself. But thinking outside of that sexist box where my grandma grew up, food and sex are always keeping my man happy and myself of course.
I always try to make my food good and sex even better after all grandma was right, it keeps him happy. I have manage to make one deliciousness lead to another. And it’s as simple as including aphrodisiacs in your kitchen. Some think that this is all mental but what if I tell you that your food can actually drag you and your partner straight to sex and prove it to you.
There is actually numerous aphrodisiac but only a few have made a reputation of their own. Seafood is known as one of the most fulfilling aphrodisiacs making lots of couples go for that seafood plate on February 14 or that person full of hopes in their first date hoping to make it at least to second base. Well, you guys get the point.
When I mention that the Caribbeans consume aphrodisiacs I was referring to seafood. This aphrodisiac is present on more than their 75% daily plates. Imagine having so much love boost.
Caribbeans and Their Aphrodisiac
Each and every country in the Caribbean claims to have a unique and delicious recipe that will make your love mode boost to the next level.
Based on that we decided to make a quick research of all these different recipes. All of them end up being a mix of seafood and the authentication of the plate was in the sauce. We decided to combine differents aspects of some recipes like Mojo isleño, Break the Matress, Come Back to Life, and Seven Powers to create a fulfilling aphrodisiac. We had lots of Fun putting this ebook together so we are more than happy to share it with you!
Click on the book cover to view and download your Caribbean treasure!
This is not a substitute for erectile dysfunction drugs nor sexual enhancement pill.
Always practice safe and consensual sex.
Open a bottle of wine for the love of sex and enjoy!
How Aphrodisiac Work
Here is a friendly site that explains how aphrodisiac work. Take a peek for more information
Oral sex by itself is glorious and delicious but combining oral sex positions, exciting places, and toys will bump it to the next level. This practice is more than contact with mouth and genitalia is more like art. To create good art you must be a perfectionist and an oral sex lover. Being able to turn your partner on and give some pleasure and most important being able to master it, is the best feeling ever. Understanding that this is a practice of trust and fun is the first step. As I always suggest consensual and safe sex is a must.
Usually, oral sex is the doorway for intercourse and most people don’t appreciate it, making it a short and simple act. Boring! It should be as pleasant and satisfying as intercourse. To make it more attractive and fun you should get creative, get into some good sexy positions, add toys and do it in “prohibit places”.
69 Overrated ?
As I was trying to do some extra research on sex position surprisingly I did not find much information or suggestion for the famous 69 sex position. So I started wondering if my boyfriend is the last guy on earth that loves 69. It’s funny because as I did my search I found so much hate out there I guess I’m not alone.
Here is an image I found on girls ask guys
I definitely think it’s a little uncomfortable if I’m on top and it takes so much effort to keep myself turned on. My arms get tired plus I feel like I need both hands to show off my skills. If I’m on the bottom it’s a little hard to reach the full package and guess who’s not getting full pleasure? Yup the guy that loves 69 more than brunch, and that’s a lot.
He just claims that its a total turn on to give and receive pleasure at the same time. He’s right but I do not mind taking turns sorry 69 but this has to change. There are so many positions out there that will blow your mind and hopefully my boyfriends too.
So you can probably suspect by now that my inspiration for this blog has nothing to do with my frustration with 69 (my sarcastic tone).
It’s a sex position where both are facing each other at opposite ends creating access and clear view of each other’s genital areas.
Giving mutual masturbation and mutual oral sex is what makes this sex position so famous.
Mind-blowing Oral Sex Positions
All images and videos are extracted from sex info 101. They have an awesome blog about oral sex positions, check it out!
Let’s take 69 to a new level
Here are some alternative for the famous 69
• 69 Sideways
This is a small twist for the 69 but it definitely looks more comfortable, no one has to worry about gravity.
• 69 Kneeling Or Standing
Guys put those muscles to work and ladies grab on tight. Note that if your balance and resistance is not the best, practice position first before trying to perform oral sex. If this is A first time I recommend you try kneeling first and as you master it do the standing.
This one also requires some balance. This can definitely be very exciting if an effort is put into it.
The Throat Swab
Ladies and gentlemen you are going to love this one. It’s very easy and ladies your hands are free, you decide what you want to do with them give him some extra love or touch yourself meanwhile. Doing both at the same time is the goal to maximize this great position.
I must admit this is not a position for everyone. If you are not into the yoga type of positions you can keep on scrolling down, I won’t judge. I Think this is a perfect position if you are into yoga and super flexible. Make your foreplay part of your spiritual life. Now that is a sex life goal.
The Butler or Doggie goes oral
Ladies lean forward and enjoy the butler ride. Guys you can’t ask for a better perfect view. You can use one hand to grab onto her and use your other hand to help yourself. Now ladies if trying to maintain balance is a little difficult go on all fours. Doggie goes oral is basically the same position but less effort is put into your balance.
Riding in The North
My favorite position ever. Now, ladies, this is all about you here ride it however you prefer. Going at your own speed, at your own rhythm is just glorious. I call it the freeway. Guys don’t feel left out your mouth plays an important role here so keep it up.
This is a little bit more traditional cunnilingus position but it never fails to get the job done. It also allows some free movements on your hips sou you can help him hit the right spot.
On your mark, stretch, go! This is pretty awesome one, it’s all you can eat. Perfect views if you are doing your daily stretching.
What can I say, sex intends to keep us healthy. This is probably the ultimate 69 upgrade. Remember you should try new thing only if you guys are feeling comfortable. I’m sure that if this is not your favorite you will find one here if you haven’t already.
We can definitely get very creative with this traditional fellatio position. Twist it to the sides, make him sit a little bit up and use hands and other parts of the body like your breast to add more sensations.
The usual to go, please. Yes, take it on the go or very exciting places.
Get Out of the Bed
Accept the challenge of chasing excitement, spontaneity, and adrenalin in a moment of pleasure. Be the one in the relationship to surprise your partner with free spirit oral sex.
There is nothing more exciting and breathtaking that receiving oral sex in places and moments that are not expected.
Ladies, tag your it. It’s way easier to perform oral sex on a man in a car so manifest the pleasure. Make sure it’s a street with low traffic or maybe on the highway where cars are speeding, my preference is at night since the daylight makes it more obvious but if that excites you go for it.
His Or Your Parents House
If you guys are doing a family visit and have the chance to be alone for a few seconds go down. A very exciting time is when everyone is dining. Send a text to meet in the bathroom it doesn’t have to be a long escape is just a quick heart rate raise.
If you guys are camping or in a quite park go in between the bushes this is going to be really fun and exciting. Watch out for police and mosquitos :p
Give your partner a random visit to their office, make sure to lock the door and pull those pants down you guys might end up in a quickie
Patio or balcony
You don’t have to go too far, your balcony or patio is a perfect place to loosen up a little to the idea of random places. If you have a transit view it’s best that you do it at night with lights off.
Spicing It Up With Toys
Toys are always a plus when it comes to sex and excitement. Sometimes is hard to approach your partner with them at the right time. But there is no better time than oral sex.
Here is a list of perfect toys to include into your oral sex moments
Vibrating Gold Egg
Fresh by Leaf
Ida by LeLo
Share Your Story
Don’t be shy share an anecdote of your favorite position, toys, and places. Tell us where and how you like to practice oral sex. You can be the inspiration for my next blog, I’m so excited to read and share your story with all of these sexually open souls. Remember you can always call us, email us or publish it on a comment.
After a few drinks,
I tried to spice up the missionary position, and I made it rain! It is amazing how I squirted for the first time with no effort or plan ahead. So, it’s a pleasure to have a chance to introduce adventurist readers to that glorious climax point and how I’ve reached this perfection. I quote Goncalves Zavale, squirting, also known as the female ejaculation via vaginal orgasm:“A liquid most treasured and revered in ancient.”
Squirting is a release of fluid from the external genitalia associated with sexual activities. I want to clarify that this can be a solo or duo practice. Yes, any woman can squirt. Just because you’ve never had a vaginal orgasm doesn’t mean you can’t. With the right approach, it can happen. Some are just lucky to randomly experience it, explore why it happened, and how to repeat it (guilty).
I have long been exploring my sexual life. Overall, I felt more satisfied with my sexual life than the average women my age. I had no idea what I was missing until a romantic night with my boyfriend. I felt a nice tickle and an urge to pee all in one new and exciting feeling. Yes, ladies, it’s a weird peeing feeling, but it is the most amazing feeling ever, I promise.
I’ll share the secret: the G-spot.
Considered an erogenous zone located inside a woman internally. This magnificent part of our body is located about one-third of the way into the front of the vagina. I personally think that this is one of the most amazing parts of the female anatomy (sorry clitoris). Once it’s stimulated with hands, toys, or partner, it can take you to heaven.
There is a noticeable difference between the clitoral and G-spot orgasm for those who have experienced both. For years I could have sworn that it was impossible to surpass that splendid clit finish, not that these are the only two types of orgasm to have.
Some of the other types of orgasms are:
- The Coregasm Orgasm triggered by exercise
- The Skin – really similar to goose bumps
And it is possible to achieve a blend orgasms clitoral and vaginal, and that, my dear readers, is what I like to call perfection.
Basically, if I would have to describe and compare both, I would describe them like a sauce. A clitoral orgasm is a mild sauce, very basic, and it goes perfectly with everything. A vaginal orgasm is more like the spicy Mexican homemade sauce as it improves and complements sexual senses. The blend is like chile habanero sauce: really good, and almost too good to handle.
Even though there is little research about G-spot/vaginal squirting, there has been much controversy amongst researchers. Some claim that it is urine and others have found prostatic specific antigens (PSA), which confirm that the liquid in a female ejaculate comes out of the female urethra from the bladder.
I can’t exactly give you proof. But, ladies and gentlemen, I must insist everyone give it a go!
And now my story.
I’ve always been very sexual and open to trying new things with my sexual partners, and most important, with myself. When I was younger, I discovered the clitoral orgasm, and, for me, that was the door that opened my genuine sexual life.
I remember touching myself in the right spot. A few rubs with just a great imagination, and maybe seven minutes later, the most incredible feeling dominated my body, I couldn’t control my moves or voice. My legs were shaking, my abdomen got contracted, and my hand started to get really wet. It was a good thing I was in the house by myself. It probably lasted like 11 seconds, but it felt like 10 minutes in heaven. The sense of self- accomplish was at a 100% level. It was a new and best feeling so far, but I knew exactly what was going on: I reached the climax. And like a typical teenager, I would try it every time I could, even if it meant five times a day.
I felt invincible with my golden fingers. After that, I had a couple of sexual experiences with intercourse. It was good to have someone else to wet it for you. But if I was going back home to finish myself, I was definitely lacking something. I couldn’t understand how I could touch myself and orgasm so easily but my partners couldn’t figure it out. It took me a while to demand what I wanted and how I desired it.
Years after my first orgasm,
I decided to go on a fun cruise trip with my boyfriend. We like to try new things constantly, and it makes me very happy,but we never planned a move or an angle to hit the G-spot and make it rain. However, a couple of weeks before, while in the missionary position, I was getting more wet than the usual and he said: “If you feel like you need to pee, let it go.” Honestly, that made me almost laugh and lose some concentration that I had with my dear clit.
But that unique sensation came back that night on the cruise while I was in the same position. I felt the tickle and the slight urge to pee, so told him “Harder!” I kept on rubbing. OH MY GOD! I felt like I was a teenager again It was the most amazing climax I’ve ever experienced, and I mean it. So, we searched for some information, went back to the same position, and angled it just right. Now I have mastered it in my favorite position, missionary, and during my solo times.
I guess what I am trying to explain is that the most remarkable element for this glorious event to take place is to explore your partner’s anatomy and understand that everybody is different.
I took you guys on this trip because, for me, it has always been important to know my body before I can teach someone else how, where, and when to touch, and I still feel like that curious teenager. Exploring your sexuality has nothing to do with your age; it’s about self-confidence and safe practice. May the urge be ever in your favor.
Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby! The Dos & Don’ts of Effective Sexual Communication
Most people know that one of the best ways to have a great sexual relationship with their partner is the ability to communicate sexual needs and wants with him or her. However, for many that sounds great, but they do not know how to make that happen. The experts in oral sex education at Oral Sex Academy offer some tips for couples looking to effectively convey their sexual desires in and outside of the bedroom.
Do Let Your Partner Know When it Feels Good in a Physical Way
In a 2012 study done by The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, nonverbal communication helps bridge the gap between sexual self-esteem and satisfaction in ways that verbal communication cannot. Why is this? Because, frankly, telling your partner it just isn’t working can put quite a damper on a fun romp in between the sheets. If you require more pressure, pull your partner’s hands down harder. If your partner is doing something that is working, then moan to let him or her know. Shouting “Good job, buddy!” can be a little jarring. However, don’t be afraid to let your partner know when it is working and when it isn’t. No one likes to waste their time, even while having sex.
Don’t Ask if He or She Came Yet
In a perfect world, sex ends with both partners having that wonderful orgasm at the same time. We can thank the movies for that fallacy! While an orgasm is a wonderful thing, reducing the whole act of sex as only being successful if ending with the big O adds pressure to what should be a fun and pleasurable experience. Even worse? Asking him or her if they are close to having an orgasm when it is sometimes difficult to achieve one. So, stop asking about the orgasm! While nice, it is not the endgame for a successful sexual experience.
Do Let Your Hands Guide the Way
Oh, the power that hands yield. One of the most effective ways to show your partner the best way to do something is to place your hand on the back of his or hers to work that magic. You can show him or her how hard or soft you like it there or how fast or slow. Also, don’t be afraid to ask your partner to show you what he is she prefers. You may be surprised that you have been “doing it wrong.”
Don’t Say “Yuck” or “That is Gross”
When a couple truly opens up and allows their partner to hear their sexual fantasies, sometimes those fantasies can be, oh how to say it…WEIRD! Revealing one’s innermost sexual fantasies can be terrifying, and hearing a partner’s response that what they are listening to is gross or strange is a great way to shut down communication. How about telling your partner that you are not comfortable performing that, but then offering an alternative you are comfortable with? Also, if your partner is doing something to you before or while having sex that you don’t like, like shoving his or her tongue in and out of your ear, don’t yell “DISGUSTING!” Instead, move your lover’s tongue to where you’d prefer it to be.
Do Talk Dirty
Dirty talk with a partner causes many to feel nervous for a variety of reasons, such as fearing they will sound silly. Some may have no idea what to say, or they are afraid that talking dirty means sounding like a porn star. However, you don’t have to settle for quiet sex! If talking dirty is a big step for you, then start small, such as telling your partner how good it feels when he or she does a certain something and build from there as your confidence grows. And while quiet sex isn’t necessarily a bad thing, dirty talk can be a potent device. It can help you and your partner stay in the moment and develop your communication skills even further, all the while helping you both stay even more turned on.
Don’t Feel Bad About Saying “No”
So, you and your partner are on that fun road of communicating sexually, sharing needs, wants, and fantasies. When couples are able to truly open up, there may be some things you hear that you just do not want to do. Saying “no” is perfectly acceptable. Just because one partner got to that “no holds barred” place doesn’t mean the other has to fulfill a certain desire. You should ALWAYS feel comfortable telling your partner no. End of discussion. However, remember our earlier advice to not act like what you hear is disgusting!
Do Remain Present
Outside of the bedroom, if your partner starts opening up about his or her sexual desires and wants, put away the phone and other distractions, and LISTEN! Your partner needs to feel comfortable sharing such personal information, and if he or she sees you checking your phone or constantly looking at the TV, that is the best way to shut down the two-way street of communication and sexual activity.
Staying present also involves not putting your partner on the defensive, and that starts with knowing how to word sentences. Be sure to start sentences with “I.” Don’t say “You don’t know how to make me have an orgasm.” Instead, say “I sometimes have a hard time having an orgasm, and I think that spending more time on oral sex would help me get there.”
In the bedroom, if your partner feels as though you are distracted and constantly looking at the clock, he or she could feel rushed, which is a great mood killer. If you cannot take your time, then get what you need to get done, and rock his or her world later.
Don’t Forget Sex is Fun
At the end of the day, sex needs to be viewed not as a chore but as something fun to do with your partner. Study after study proves that sexual communication absolutely enhances sexual satisfaction between lovers. If sex starts to feel as monotonous as dusting the house, then it is time to open up those lines of communication with your partner!
The sex experts at Oral Sex Academy understand the importance of a healthy sex life to a couple’s longevity. Feel free to browse our blogs for even more sex tips, or look into our line of oral sex education videos to really help spice up your sex life. The happy couple is the proactive couple!
7 Incredible Dating Tips For Women
Quality dating tips for women are hard to come across sometimes. Many women don’t realize that there are some secrets to dating that will definitely increase their chances at having a quality experience and to improve their chances for a second date.
Having a great outlook on life is crucial. Nobody wants to be with a downer. Being confident and showing that you are comfortable with yourself is extremely attractive to men. Show them that you have goals over the next 5 years of your life. Let them know you have quality ideas of how your time on Earth should be spent. Being positive is inspiring and will always be a quality attribute that people are looking for.
Be Open Minded
Don’t just assume that your date is going to take you to the most expensive restaurant. Maybe he is going to show you his favorite “hole in the wall”. Don’t be so quick to judge the experience before you allow yourself to have fun with it. He might be just testing you to see how you would react and to see if you are willing to let loose.
Part of the point of dating is to meet new people and to get to know that person. So whether you are meeting someone online or are being set up by your friends don’t fish for details about that person until you actually meet them, you might be shooting yourself in the foot. You don’t want to go out on a date with a predisposition about the other person. Allow the moment to happen on it’s own and be true to yourself in the process.
Always Leave Your Baggage At The Door
Don’t talk about your exes or compare them to the new guy on a first date. It’s a genuine turn off to all men to hear the name of your past experiences. You end up sending out a message that you are not totally over the other person when they are brought into the conversation. Most of the time men will ultimately decide to move on and find somebody else if they think you are still emotionally attached to your prior relationships.
Being yourself is the best way to ensure that the guy is meeting you and not your representative. Don’t give false impressions because if you want any relationship to have a chance at success then it is important that they are getting to know the real you and not some fantasy, super amazing, unrealistic version of yourself. If the relationship continues to blossom then it is only a matter of time before they start to see who you really are so why play games that usually only end up in disappointment. Also be direct and don’t assume that men always understand hidden messages. Men generally don’t read between the lines very well so be specific and clear to avoid any unnecessary stress for yourself.
The only way you’re going to get to know someone is if you ask them questions about who they are and how they think. Don’t let them do all of the talking though. The conversation ideally should be mutual and should involve both parties equally. And if you are someone who loves to talk, don’t spend the whole time talking about yourself because that is almost always a turnoff for anybody. Make sure you are showing some interest in finding out more about the other person.
Don’t Be Catty
Nothing says “You don’t want to be with me!” more than when you are out on a first date making your first impression and you decide to start putting other females down around you. “I can’t believe she thinks that nobody would notice that her purse is a knock off!” or “Didn’t somebody tell her to look in the mirror before she went out in public today?” Nobody likes to be around someone who thinks that they are better than everybody else. It’s one thing to be confident and maybe even a little bit arrogant, but to just judge other people because maybe you don’t agree with their fashion choice is a total red flag. Being humble is a virtue that most people look for in others. Be uplifting, it’s not about bringing others down.
Meeting new people usually falls somewhere between awkward and extremely awkward. Anything you can do to minimize the awkwardness and move towards amazing is a step in the right direction and possibly another date.
Did you find this article helpful? Let us know what you think in the comment section.
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Masturbation Techniques: Men Watching Women
When we talk about masturbation a lot of things come to our minds. It is an art that encompasses many techniques. Many techniques you learned through touching yourself and discovering what gives you pleasure. What exactly it takes to get you to ecstasy and to reach the point of maximum excitement. Well that’s what everyone wants when looking for a good orgasm. When a woman masturbates in front of a man, many things change. It’s no longer private. It’s not just for her in her own world under her own rules. Now he is in the room as a spectator and that changes her routine entirely. This time she has to focus on exciting him. For many women this is arousing and exciting. And for many others it might be a little intimidating and difficult to perform.
One thing is for sure, this is perhaps one of the biggest fantasies for men.
To watch a woman touching herself for him in many different ways and being the only one there to watch and interact with her will drive him crazy. It is a private show, with a single viewer, full-color, done just for him and where he can touch, taste and enjoy. Ladies, don’t be nervous, here are a few tips to keep in mind:
● Use your breasts. They are part of your body and they are something that emphasizes the femininity of women. The shape, volume, and even the size of the nipples and areolas are different in every woman, and all men are fascinated by them. Touch and move them with your hands, he will love it.
● Play with your clothes, wear something seductive and tight to your body like spandex. Start touching yourself on the outside and then take it off and keep touching yourself. Show him with your moves what you want him to do to you.
● Moan for him, it will help you both to get more and more pleasure.
● Water is something you can use in your favor. Pour a little over your skin and let it run across your vagina. The temperature change can make you react differently, especially if it’s ice cold.
● Another thing you can use is handkerchiefs. Rub them all over your body. Seduce him by intensifying the touch over certain parts of your body. Let him watch every single move you make closely.
There are so many things you can do for him.
Keep moving your body and arch it from time to time. Try rubbing some oil over your skin, introduce any object that has a penis shape in your mouth or in your vagina. Also you can use lubricant if you want. All of these techniques are perfect for the moment. Remember, beyond feeling pleasure, it is about exciting him. Afterwards you will receive the sex that he will be begging you for, blending together as one. Fears, jealousy and shame have to be left aside. Your body is your greatest gift and you’re sharing it with your partner, it has to be natural. It is nothing to be ashamed of.
Login to www.oralsexacademy.com to learn every technique and detail step by step. As a woman you must know how to give him and yourself pleasure as part of the art of seduction.
Watching porn can affect the “reward” that our brain receives in a real sexual relationship.
Unless you’re watching porn only for educational purposes (positions, techniques, etc…) men, after viewing too much pornography, tend to have very high expectations from their partners. They have trouble considering the difficulty their partner may have reenacting the same performance. For a woman’s case, just imagine the perfect penis. Now if all women went around believing that all men have equally big, thick, monstrous, super members just like the actors generally have then it would simply be disappointing for them when they discovered that most men are generally not as well endowed.
Men, on the other hand, need to be aware that not everything they see in the movies can be performed with their partners. For instance, different moves can be painful. Oral ability is also different for everyone. The body’s elasticity for some positions may not be possible. And don’t forget that some things are just considered rude in real life situations.
Men and women need to remember that they don’t necessarily possess the same strength, agility, flexibility, and endurance as the actors.
Most women are not physically prepared for everything the actresses may do. This includes long periods of penetration because after a while it becomes painful. For the actresses, the vaginal muscle is constantly exercising and therefore they do not experience many of the same problems. Another example of a reality check, men love to finish in the woman’s face because they have seen it in the movies so many times. They may not realize it, but unless their partner is begging for it, there is a pretty high chance that she may not really like to get a shot in the face. For many, it is unpleasant and degrading. So men, unless you know for sure she wants it, maybe you should find another place to unload.
Moans: sometimes they are fake and sometimes not. We cannot generalize that all women moan naturally like they do in porn.
There are many factors that are seen in the final version of a porn film that are influenced by professional coaches and directors. Noises are one of them. Directors tell the actors what they should do. They tell the actors what positions to take to not be hurt. They also give them guidelines to strengthen every muscle with exercises involving arms, neck, and legs. This generally helps with the overall flexibility of the whole body for different positions.
Men and women should study while watching porn. Try to take notes of techniques, positions, and movements that can be incorporated. Just don’t expect everything to work.
It is true that after spending too much time watching porn, our brain thinks that everything it witnesses can be done. However, the brain does not know to differentiate the limits that can be reached. For that reason, many men expect much more than they may receive thus affecting the reward and then they get frustrated. Sometimes it is difficult to see otherwise. Our subconscious gets fed full of the images and movements. Then it fantasizes about each of them.
The most important thing for a real sexual relationship is to not be affected by pornography. It is important to become aware of what your partner can do with his/her anatomy. Communication is everything. Tell him or her what you saw and liked. And if it is within his/her capabilities without possibly getting hurt they may want to give it a try. Login to www.oralsexacademy.com to learn even more.